Inspirational tips on facing adversity and dealing
with important things
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| Written on 9/01/02 3:32 pm (EST) This time, I'd like to touch on focusing on the things that are really important. (and yes, I realize me saying I'll focus on something with the way I ramble and wander is a joke, but glad you came back anyway, thank you - hope you've been working with this stuff and seeing the results as well) Throughout our days, we talk about other people, other things and people we don't even know. Instead of deciding (and sticking to) the things we want, we're distracted by anything and everything that comes along. How much time during the day you spend thinking about the things that are most important to you? If you watch and listen to people long enough, you can easily realize very little attention is being spent on things that make a difference to ourselves individually. There's SO much time being spent focusing on things we can't even do anything about, it's no wonder so many people are unhappy. When it's hot outside, how many times, from how many different people do you hear comments and complaints about it being hot? Quite a few, right? And, I'll be honest, half the time I catch MYSELF being the one doing the commenting and complaining. Does it do me ANY good? Of course it doesn't. The brutal truth of the matter is, if I was concentrating on more important things, the heat wouldn't be such a big deal. Through lack of discipline, we've become so soft, so sensitive, so petty about virtually everything - and I'm talking about myself included. I am by no means sitting on a pedestal as I write this. We become increasingly dependent on everything and if things aren't a certain way, we're just totally miserable. We're so quick to make excuses for ourselves that it's getting in our OWN way of getting where we want and need to be. Do ANY of the following sound familiar? I'm too tired. I'm too old, young, thin, heavy, short, tall, etc? But, (insert contradicting excuse here) It's raining. It's cold. It's too hot. That's too far. etc. There are SO many excuses, but they're not making things EASIER on us (like we think).. Not at all. The bottom line is, if there's things you want (or feel you need) in your life - YOU can get there if you are willing to "pay" for it. --[[Stopped, picked back up on 09/03/02 - Tuesday, 7:19 pm EST]]-- What are you willing to do to get the things you want? Just how bad do you want it? Would you be willing to act in spite of fears? Can you try just a little harder even if it feels uncomfortable to put yourself "out there" like that? Do you feel that your dreams are worth a little extra effort in keeping yourself in line? Are you willing to decide in advance how you're willing to live the rest of this day, and the next, until you get the things you want? If you are, and you're willing to keep making yourself do the things you know you need to, you'll soon see the results clear enough to keep you going. Again, I don't mean to insult you or put you down by saying these things - they are as true for me as they are for you, or anyone else. Trust me on this, I feel your pain - because it's my pain too! Maybe not specifically in every individual area of your life but overall - we're no different. Just look at society and you'll see we're all in the same boat, disappointed by how things have been, made some mistakes, let ourselves and each other down, and can easily see that things can be much better. The liberating truth is - we have more control than we admit to ourselves. But when we hear "we need to set goals on paper, and describe them in detail, think more realistically about what we need to do - and do them day in, day out" - it sounds too simple, and once we start it feels weird because it's new and we expect too much all at once. The real difference between those who do and those who don't, is the ability to act regardless of doubts that creep into the mind. FORCE doubt out of your own mind by acting in spite of it and thinking about the bigger picture. The bigger picture is not something I can give you, that is yours to decide. What are the bigger and better things you want? How can you get them? What are the SMALL things you can do, on a regular basis, to practice your way to an increased level of skill and expertise? Can you force yourself to look at things more rationally? When mistakes happen or when others disappoint you, can you remember that EVERYONE is the same and that we ALL make these mistakes or have these problems? Yes you can. I know you can because I have been able to make progress in my own life by doing these very things. No, I'm not the greatest person who ever lived, but I'm better than I was before and ALL signs point to me being better in the future as long as I'm willing to hold myself to my own ideals. The more realistic version of the last line is - "time to put up, or shut up!". As long as I put my money where my mouth is, I will continue to improve overall. Same goes for you. If you REALLY want something, you can find several legal, ethical and proper ways to get the same thing done - just pay attention to what you want, and TRULY put in a strong effort figuring out how to get it. Once you've figured out some little things you can do to get there - write them down and make yourself do these things without quitting. Yes, I realize this is easier said than done - and that you already knew this. But for SO many of us, it's still just not happening because we keep forgetting, or putting it off, or looking for something for nothing. If you tried hard enough, you could see the truth in this by looking around. Watch the news, watch people interact with each other in stores - you can see as plain as day these principals working. The only real difference in people is whether they use these universal, time tested and proven techniques or not. If you want to learn new things, do new things, make more money, lose more weight or anything - you'll need to face yourself and your fears and start figuring ways THROUGH them - not around them. If you trying sneaking around, looking for the short cut, you will have the same obstacle to fight again and it will not go away. But, if you force yourself THROUGH your fears or insecurities (meaning DO IT ANYWAY), the obstacle will start to shrink - very little at first, but more and more every time you act. It's true - try it for yourself. Example: If you're uncomfortable with people in general: (one of my very own problems for those of you keeping score): FORCE yourself to deal with people. Go to the store and talk with SOMEONE, anyone.. Get yourself OUT THERE and talking with anyone.. for ANY length of time, even if you just smile and say "hi" - that's more than you may have been comfortable doing before. For YEARS I've suffered from social phobia, panic attacks and intense dislike of being in crowds and I'm telling you from reading psychology books and my OWN personal experience - you HAVE to get out there! It WILL get easier, have some faith in yourself and REALIZE these people are JUST as "screwed up" as you are, that we truly ARE all the same, and that it's not the end of the world if you act a little weird due to your current discomfort with these people. I'm not telling you this for pity or praise, I'm telling you because it's true - I'm not brave or anything else, I'm just tired of keeping myself prisoner in my own home due to these labels I've associated with myself thanks to numerous psychiatrists and psychologists both in "real life" and from books and tapes. Labels are nonsense, and there is something YOU can do, without a prescription and without years of therapy. Work through the discomfort! If your goal is out in the world somewhere, you can't stay cooped up in your house 24/7. So get out there, and if you get flush or start sweating or whatever - just think to yourself, "I control myself, it's not the end of the world if this happens" and just ADMIT to the person (or people) around you, "Hey, sometimes I get a little weird and uncomfortable around groups of people, please forgive me in advance if I sweat a lot or act a little strange or need to step outside for a second for some air". That's it. And by all means, if you DO end up needing to step outside for air, don't forget to go back in - seriously.. I know it's tempting to get in the car and go home, but that's just not going to get you where you need to go. I'm not better or smarter than you or anyone else - I'm just not into suffering anymore and I don't want any of you to suffer anymore (above what life already tosses at us I mean). There's just NO point in it. The negative view though seemingly more realistic, is just a front. It's a mask we wear to protect us from the pain of actually having to deal with our own problems. In other words, it's crap. We can do this - we've seen TOO many people doing great to be naive enough to think it's just luck. It's not, I assure you. How many leaders, experts and rich people do we need telling us the stuff works before we have enough faith in ourselves to get moving? I say enough already, let's start designing our own lives, playing our own game and become a little less concerned with what everyone else is doing and saying. The majority of people in the world right now are really unhappy - simple logic says by listening to THEM, we'll probably end up the same way (if we haven't already) - but know, it's not too late. BREAK AWAY FROM THE PACK!!!! Pick up your own pace by a TINY bit - and keep that pace as long as you can. If you feel you can comfortably pick up the pace again, do it. And before you know it, you'll be LEADING that pack. That's how it works folks, no kidding - think about it and see the truth in it. Know that you're no different than ANYONE you've ever admired, they have that same "head thing" going that I wrote about earlier. You know this is true, and you know you can do it, so try it and if you screw it up, try it again, and again. If you doubt your ability - just think back in your life, look for all the good advice you've given OTHER people over the years. Could it be you know more than you admit to yourself? Try some of your own advice, REALLY try it and you'll see that every word I've typed is on the money and you're better than you think. You are fully capable of controlling what you think and do - so do exactly that. Trust in your ability - you KNOW you could do just a LITTLE more or be a little more understanding, you know it. So go get what you've been dreaming about, it's just sitting there waiting for you to chase after it - I know you can. No excuses my friends, go get the good things you know you deserve! Make it happen, we control ourselves! In truth and respect as always |
You can do anything!
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