Quick Tips for Deeper Conversations


By Pot Luck Mama

We are creatures of habit. We wake, we dress, we eat. We circle our orbs along with others and get used to seeing and hearing each other in predictable patterns. We “know” one another. Asking our loved ones to pull out of those patterns into new perspectives can be foreign, scary and clumsy. It doesn’t always feel nice to go out on a limb to deepen conversation or wrestle with meaning.

In my experience, inspirational conversations start with risk - the limb in my mind. I wonder how the other person will feel about taking the conversation to a deeper level. Will our relationship strengthen or falter? I practice the words I’ll use. I imagine their response.

For all my practice, it’s not my words that count - it’s my ears. The gentlest way to navigate these conversations is to say as little as possible and listen as well as possible. That’s how I provide a safe place for intimacy and it’s also how I gauge willingness. When the agenda is to listen well I don’t have to worry about meeting a topical objective, generating an epiphany or pleasing the person with whom I converse.

I can be with them.

When I allow my ears to mean more than the words in my relationships, my words carry more weight. Now taking the conversation to a deeper level is just a question away. Sometimes the answers surprise me.

Take a risk. Listen.


Ideas to Get You Started

  • Ask your Inspirational question during an established routine (ie. meal, commute, bedtime)

  • Start play with a one-on-one relationship

  • Give players the whole day to consider their answers

  • Select a way to celebrate as a family when your 21 Day Challenge is complete

  • How did your Inspirational conversations get started? Share your ideas online! #inspirationalstarts

Things to Consider

  • Consider the audience. When will your players be most receptive to Inspirational conversations? When and where are they most comfortable?

  • Consider the setting. Lighting, sounds and privacy can play a role in people’s willingness to have deep conversation.

  • Consider detours par for the course. Sometimes conversations wander. It is not necessary they are directed. A verbal stroll is good for the soul:)

  • Consider the conversation is just the beginning. The best Inspirational stories are the ones we see because listening ears gave birth to eyes.